I’m writing this in defense of a pretty girl. I just finished reading a post on Thought Catalog (HUGE fan, by the way) about the complaints of a pretty girl and was honestly quite agitated by the comments in response. People can be so nasty.
Admittedly, I myself do have some bones to pick with the author of the post, who was a bit excessively verbose. For example, I do find it rather concerning when she talks about actively going around bars to get free drinks from guys just because she can. If a guy offers, sure, I’d love to (I mean, it’s a free drink!). But if not, I’m not going to put myself through a marathon of eyelash-batting to fish for free drinks. It’s gross. I hardly find guys in bars appealing. Also, I’m not going to go a day in public without grooming myself just because I’m wondering what it’s like to not be attractive because 1) I already have days when I look like a not-so-hot mess and 2) I don’t want to look like I don’t put in effort to take care of myself. Also, maybe it’s because I’m just not that attractive, but I do not get accepted into absolutely everything I apply for like the author claims to.
However, I completely understand the general point she’s trying to make. Believe it or not, there are some really frustrating issues that come with being pretty, and these are especially noticeable and bothersome to pretty girls who know they have a lot more to offer than simply their looks. I’ve screenshot-ed some of the comments in response, and my responses to them are below each one.
Whoever you are, Richard Bobby, please. Making the mainstream assumption that I am, I take it that you’re a guy. Are you ever afraid to walk down the street for fear of being hooted-and-hollered at? Or maybe constantly and self-consciously tugging down your already-almost-knee-length skirt for fear of showing too much leg (or keep pulling up your shirt even though you’re an A-cup and practically flat-chested, or at least that’s me)? Have you ever felt scared of your own looks because of the unwanted attention it attracts? Are you actually nice but have frequently been called a bitch because you purposely have to look like a bitch in order to avoid unsolicited approaches? And if you say that this only happens to women who dress like sluts and whores, then I’m going to have to call you out on your naiveté. Oh, and the proofreading thing — PLEASE. Way to make a generalization about pretty girls! You know that probably 90% of the texts, emails, tweets, etc. you see are just laced with typos, misspellings, and horrible grammar.
First tip: brush up on your reading comprehension. The author talks how much she values her girl friends because a lot of girls don’t want to be her friend due to their own insecurities. This does not mean she is incapable of making friends. I know plenty of well-rounded females (good-looking, high-achieving, sparkling personality, etc.) who have mentioned that they don’t have very many female friends. Have you not seen Mean Girls? Sleepover? Stepford Wives? Desperate Housewives? Sure, media exaggerates the bitchy mean girl stereotype, but gee, girls are incredibly envious beings! Especially when we’re not fully secure with ourselves. And the jealous, insecure ones will criticize, gossip, and manipulate. I have three girl friends that I actually consider real friends. The rest are just acquaintances. I have twice as many real guy friends, albeit most of them gay. So, Guest-who-wishes-to-remain-anonymous, please take some more English classes.
I’m pretty damn sure that the author of the post knows that “being pretty and smart/funny/interesting” aren’t mutually exclusive. What she is actually saying is that no matter what other redeeming qualities we have, we will always be judged based on our appearances first and foremost (and sometimes even considered dumb and incompetent at best just because we’re pretty). People tell me time and time again that who they think I am after getting to know me is dramatically different from who they thought I was before having an actual conversation with me. Even if we’re eventually judged on our other characteristics, others’ first impressions of us are always going to be viscerally and superficially based on our looks. Perhaps you might want to take some more English courses as well, MK.
So please, just stop the negative commentary. Just like the wise always say, the grass is not always greener on the other side and everyone has their own set of problems.