I’m indecisive. I’m that person who insists on obtaining an authority figure’s input and approval before making a big decision. Depending on the context of the situation at hand, this isn’t necessarily negative at all. In fact, sometimes it’s very necessary, such as in the workplace, especially a workplace in politics. However, as a young adult who is finally about to start her life, I realized that when it comes to growing up and living out my life, this habit of indecision is stunting, and even detrimental.
I started to see all of this in the last few months because I’ve been receiving these odd surprised and “Oh, she’s still a child” looks from certain adults in my life when I tell them that my parents wouldn’t like it if I did this or if I did that. These adults probably thought it was odd for someone as seemingly capable as I am to still have so many things dictated by her parents’ attitudes toward them. It’s not that I do whatever my parents instruct me to do all of the time — I’ve given them quite a tough time throughout my life. It’s also not that my parents do everything for me — they’ve never known exactly what goes on at school or at work and they trust me to take care of it (quite frankly, they care more about the results I produce than the process of producing said results). Those who know me will also tell you that I’m resourceful, creative, a visionary, can find a way to accomplish anything, and am even very decisive. It’s important to note, though, that these people will tell you this because this is what they’ve witnessed from my actions so far, which honestly doesn’t quite amount to much considering that I’ve only lived out the first 21 years of my life. Any potentially life-changing decision has always been made for me by my parents.
I’m putting my foot down though (and I can’t believe it’s taken me so many years to finally say this). I’m going to find every way possible to end up in Washington, D.C. this summer. My parents don’t like this; they want me to stay in Austin to work. We’ve had a handful of arguments over this and we will probably continue to have handfuls of arguments over this. But I can’t stay, I need to get out of Austin and I need to get out of Texas. I need to go far away because I feel stagnant here. I need to go somewhere where I can finally start feeling like I’m about to embark on the journey for my career and the rest of my life. My parents don’t yet understand this decision, but this is just as much about self-responsibility as it is about self-liberation.
And to my parents — I know you read my blog posts — hopefully, the two of you can come to terms with my growing up, better sooner than later. Thanks.